Life in the office is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced. It doesn’t matter if you’re a recent grad learning the way things work or a seasoned veteran used to the rhythms of the workplace sometimes office life is just downright weird, strange, and full of horrifically awkward situations.
‘How much are they paying you?’: There’s nothing more awkward in the world than when your office bestie asks you how much you earn as the pair of you are mid complaint about your boss. It’s one of those moments you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole because you might be friends, but you’re not that good friends and you really don’t want to tell them. In this instance, it’s best to just pretend to faint. Even hit your head on the way down for dramatic effect, as it’s the only way to get out of that situation.
‘So how’s your bf/gf doing?’: When colleagues ask you about your relationship status in an attempt to make small talk but actually you’ve just broken up, and what was supposed to be idle chit chat turns into a heavy, emotional conversation. You try to talk to mask the awkwardness, and inevitably end up over-sharing and not being able to stop. Before you know it you’ve told Sharon in Accounting all about your heartbreak.
Internal affairs: By this, we don’t mean process and procedure, but the two people in the office who are seeing each other and think it’s a secret. But actually, everyone knows, and you get stuck in a room or an elevator with them wondering what you can talk about, other than the massive elephant in the room.
Face palm moments: Basically, all those moments you’ve done something incredibly stupid like hitting ‘reply all’ and complaining about the person in the email thread. Or thinking you’ve pressed mute on the conference call and turning to your colleague to tell them how pointless the conference call actually is, only to realize that everyone can hear you. Or you’re on the phone to your boss and accidently say ‘I love you’ at the end automatically. There is literally no way out of these situations other than to stay quiet and back slowly away.
Kitchen chat: When you go to make a cup of coffee and get stuck in the kitchen with a co-worker but can’t remember their name or what they actually do in the organization. You’ve been working with them for two years, and you smile when you pass in the corridors. So, you can’t ask them what their name is, and you’re left talking about the new spoons, or something like that.
‘Good weekend?’: It’s not even 9:30am on Monday morning, and you’ve already been asked six times if you had a good weekend. You know people don’t really want to know all about your weekend, and so you end up mumbling the same generic answer to everyone, while also asking them if they had a good weekend and hoping they don’t go into the details
Printer problems: We don’t know how this happens, but the printer always jams at the exact moment you’re printing something completely non-work related, like your holiday booking confirmations or your friends’, friends’ stuff. Then of course, you have to hang around by the printer until it’s fixed so you can grab it as soon as it comes out and pretend it never happened.
We could go on and on and on because apparently there is no end to awkward situations you can find yourself in when at work. Sigh. Stay safe workers, stay safe.